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Jeff’s Corner 3-22-17

“The croaking raven doth bellow for revenge.” Hamlet (3.2.250)

And how sweet that revenge was last Saturday night at our Tank Tasting extravaganza, when my beloved 2015 Rose of Sangiovese surged past the upstart 2016 Rose of Malbec just before the polls closed.

Here’s how the election worked: Kathy (Ms. Malbec) and I (Señor Sangiovese) poured our respective wines for our guests. On the table in front of each of us were two empty fish bowls. In the middle was a large fish bowl of GCV wine corks. Each guest was allowed to vote for their favorite by casting a ballot (one of the corks) into the wines’ respective jar.

Kathy has crowed for a year about how her duplicitous Mr. Ramato, in the 1st annual “Great Rose-Off” last year, won a questionable victory over my squeaky clean Señor Sangiovese. That first competition was fraught with fraud. I was close to blind from eye surgery, cork stuffing was rampant, and gerrymandering was the norm.

Last Saturday, Ms. Malbec surged to an early lead, and in a tense moment of paranoia Señor Sangiovese accused her of having the more desirable side of the table. Tempers chilled, and after a Señor Sangiovese comeback voting was bottlenecked cork to cork.

Finally, Brian counted the tallies, “And after all the violence and double-talk, There’s just a song in all the trouble and the strife”. Señor Sangiovese 43 corks, Ms. Malbec 40. Ms. Malbec’s demand for a recount fell to deaf ears, much like mine in 2016 when Mr. Ramato won 46 corks to 40.

Next year, the rubber match..

Jeff’s Corner 3-16-17

It’s almost time! The most anticipated slugfest in wine history since the legendary “Judgement of Paris” in 1976 is upon us. Back then, upstart Napa Valley Cabs and Chards kicked the crap out of centuries’ long dominance by the most elite French Bordeaux and Burgundy wines.

As mentioned in Jeff’s Corner 2-9-17, this is the 2nd annual “Great Rose-Off”. It is the main event at our annual Wine Club Tank Tasting Party this Saturday, and against all odds there is sure to be some wagering involved. Come see me.

In one corner, weighing in at 11.6% ABV, is the 2015 Rose of Sangiovese trained by me, Señor Sangiovese. Hailing from the Lost Draw Vineyard near Lubbock, it is a well-oiled machine basking in its prime. Poised and polished, it hits hard with finesse and balance.

In the opposite corner, weighing in at 11.9% ABV, is the 2016 Rose of Malbec trained by my wife, Ms. Malbec. From the Sprayberry Vineyard by Midland, this is a young and dangerous wine, an erratic puncher that is unpredictable and strikes our palate from all angles.

This welterweight classic takes place in the center ring Saturday, and you, our lucky guests, get to choose the winner. Each of you will be given a numbered cork with which to cast a ballot for your favorite. However, be advised, I have near perfect counterfeit corks I will trade for extra tastes.

Remember, “All is fair in love and wine”. Beware the right cross and long finish, Mr. Malbec; it will land you on your butt.

“The beatings will continue until morale improves.” Today, once again, I’m forced to take one for the team. Here I am, stuck at home, tasting and writing notes for the eight wines being featured at our 7th annual Wine Club Tank Tasting party Saturday, March 18. Please don’t tell my bosses that I’m “drinking on the clock”.

Yesterday afternoon, Jason hooked me up with tank samples and newly bottled wines whose identity, at this point, is extremely classified; unless, of course, this top secret info has been leaked.

We’ll see you here next week, for a preview of “Phase Two of the Great Rose-Off”. Here we’ll see Señor Sangiovese (me) go head-to-head against Ms. Malbec (me wife).

Don’t you dare touch that dial...

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